WATCHMENSCH - THE FINAL SCRIPT

COVER

WATCHMENSCH down the side, a parody of Watchmen #1, the smiley has a skullcap and a ringlet instead of the blood. It is in a river of red fizzy drink.

PAGE ONE

We parody Watchmen page 1. Close up on the smiley face, panning up and up.

PANEL ONE

Smiley face with skullcap in gutter. We can see a can of fizzy drink that has spilled, Black Cherry Soda.

CAPTION:    SPOTTYMAN'S CASEBOOK. 1st March, 2009.

NOTES:    PARROT CARCASS ON BOTTOM OF CAGE THIS MORNING. BURNT FEATHER ACROSS ITS BURST SEED TRAY. MY GOLDFISH IS AFRAID OF ME. I HAVE SEEN ITS BLUE FACE.

PANEL TWO

Pull up, we see feet at top. Look, basically trace Watchmen page 1 and add the can.

NOTES:    THE BLACK CHERRY SODA IS LYING IN THE GUTTERS AND THE GUTTERS ARE FULL OF FIZZY BUBBLES AND URINE AND WHEN THE DRAINS FINALLY EFFERVESCE ALL THE VERMIN WILL HAVE A CAFFEINE/TESTOSTERONE OVERDOSE.

PANEL THREE

A placard selling man walking on the street. This is Spottyman in his normal guise, a smart suit. He holds a placard saying GOLF SALE. He walks past an annoyed man weeing in the street.

NOTES:    THE ACCUMULATED STRESS OF ALL THEIR SEX AND MURDER BRIEFS WILL FOAM UP INSIDE THEIR ARTERIES AND ALL THE LAWYERS AND MEDIA RIGHTS AGENTS WILL LOOK UP AND SHOUT "SIGN IT!"...

NOTES:    ...AND I'LL LOOK DOWN AND WHISPER "NO."

PANEL FOUR

Spottyman walks on, leaving a trail. Weeing man raises his fist.

NOTES:    THEY ALL HAD A CHANCE. ALL OF THEM. THEY COULD HAVE FOLLOWED IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF GOOD MEN LIKE SCOTT MCCLOUD OR ARCHIE GOODWIN.

NOTES:    DECENT MEN WHO BELIEVED IN CREATOR'S RIGHTS.

PANEL FIVE

Higher, there's a bus on the road. Not futuristic. New York modern.

NOTES:    INSTEAD THEY FOLLOWED THE DROPPINGS OF PUBLISHERS AND BEANCOUNTERS AND DIDN'T REALISE THAT THE TRAIL LED TO THE COURTS UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE.

NOTES:    DON'T TELL ME THEY DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.

PANEL SIX

Higher and we can see the detective's hand on a broken window.

NOTES: NOW THE WHOLE INDUSTRY STANDS ON THE BRINK, STARING DOWN INTO LEGAL LIMBO, ALL THOSE SPOKESMEN AND PUBLIC FACES AND BLOGGERS...

NOTES:    ...AND ALL OF A SUDDEN NO ONE CAN USE THE WORD 'SUPERBOY'.

PANEL SEVEN

Detective looking over the edge down to the bottom, lots of traffic.

DETECTIVE: DAMN, I DROPPED MY DRINK.

DETECTIVE: SAMMY, GET US ANOTHER ONE FROM THE FRIDGE!

PAGE TWO

PANEL ONE

Detectives in the flat, one looking out of the window, the second looking at the broken door. The flat is very much as it is in Watchmen page 2. Double sized panel. But put some clown stuff, especially Krusty The Clown posters.

DETECTIVE 2:   That was his last one, you OAF. So who was this guy anyway?

DETECTIVE 1:    Just some clown. We know nothing about him and probably never will. We're a couple of New York detectives after all, it's not like we're actually IMPORTANT or nothing.

DETECTIVE 2:    I wish we were in BALTIMORE.

PANEL TWO

They walk out of the door.

DETECTIVE 2:    Let's go to a bar and sing POGUES songs.

DETECTIVE 1:    You'd got to stop watching those WIRE boxsets.

PANEL THREE

The flat, the door has closed, we can see the open broken window.

DETECTIVE 2 (THROUGH DOOR):    But it's SO realistic!    

PANEL FOUR

The flat. Nothing.

PANEL FIVE

A hookshot has arced in to the flat (as in Watchmen page 5)

PANEL SIX

Two normal-sized panels big

Spottyman, sitting over the broken window (Watchmen page 6). Spottyman is Rorschach with a wide brimmed hat and ringlets, hassidic style.

SPOTTYMAN:    Hurmm.

SPOTTYMAN:    Lift broken.

SPOTTYMAN:    Stairs smelly.

PANEL SEVEN:

Spottyman rummaging in cupboard full of clown stuff.

SPOTTYMAN:    Now. What did those foolish police detectives miss, that I Spottyman...

SPOTTYMAN:    No... don't talk to self...

SPOTTYMAN:    ...not that kind of comic. Save it for the journal.

PAGE THREE

PANEL ONE

Two panels wide. He's revealed a secret panel. A lot of secret documents and papers. They all concern the League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier. Tijuana Bibles, There's a gramophone and a record in place upon it. A note from Paul Levitz. A file labelled Don Murphy. Another file with Scott Dunbier's name crossed out.

PANEL TWO

Spottyman holds up the Tijuana Bible from the Black Dossier, opening it.

SPOTTYMAN: HURM.

PANEL THREE

Dan Drieburg-alike, coming across his apartment door forced.

DAN:   WHAT?

SPOTTYMAN: (THROUGH DOOR): CHLOP

            THLUP

PANEL FOUR

Spottyman, mask raised eating Mother's Gefilte Fish from the jar. Daniel walks in to kitchen, very much as in Watchmen. One thing, on a wall we don't see until the end of the scene, there is a nurse's uniform hanging up. We could see glimpses of it, but only the full thing in the last panel.

SPOTTYMAN:           SCHLORP

                             LEP

                             HELLO DANIEL. 

DAN:   NO NO, PLEASE, SIT, I LOVE IT WHEN PSYCHOPATHS BREAK INTO MY FLAT AND EAT MY KOSHER TINNED FISH...

PANEL FIVE 

The smiley face button is thrown on the table.

SPOTTYMAN:           SOMEONE KILLED KRUSTY THE CLOWN.

DAN:   I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT EVEN ACTUALLY JEWISH... WHAT, KRUSTOFSKI?

PANEL SIX

Spottyman continued to eat from the jar.

SPOTTYMAN:           SCHLEP... AH YES, YOU WORKED TOGETHER, DIDN'T YOU? 

DAN:   WELL BRIEFLY. AFTER OUR PARTNERSHIP WENT DOWN THE TOILET.

PANEL SEVEN 

Spottyman puts his hand inside his coat, looking for papers.

SPOTTYMAN:           DID IT INVOLVE... THE BLACK DOSSIER?

DAN:   WHAT? NO. NO, THAT WAS... THAT WAS ALL OZY'S BUSINESS.

PANEL EIGHT

Spottyman holds out Black Dossier papers across the table.

SPOTTYMAN:           I FOUND THESE IN KRUSTOFSKI'S APARTMENT

DAN (OFF):    ARE THOSE...

 PAGE FOUR

PANEL ONE

Spottyman waves a finger, pulling the papers back as Dan has tried to grab them.

SPOTTYMAN:           AHH AHH AHH.

DAN:   LOOK, I WENT NO FURTHER THAN HELPING SET UP THE ABC FIREWALL. THAT'S IT.

PANEL TWO 

Spottyman is standing up to leave, tucking papers into his coat. Dan looks weak.

DAN:   DO YOU THINK... I MIGHT BE AT RISK?

SPOTTYMAN:           WHY SHOULDN'T YOU BE?

SPOTTYMAN:           UNLESS YOU BUILD YOUR OWN FIREWALL... NITE NURSE.

PANEL THREE

Spottyman leaves, we see Dan slumped against his wall, and the Nurse uniform on clear display hung up.

PANEL FOUR

Ozzy Osbourne standing, staring against the window. Big room, Spottyman behind him. 

OZY: AH... THE BLACK DOSSIER. YES. NOT MY FINEST HOUR REALLY. THEY DIDN'T FUGGING LISTEN TO ME YOU KNOW.

PANEL FIVE

Ozzy from the front. 

OZY:             I SAID IT WOULD BE FINE FOR ALL TERRITORIES WITH JUST A FEW FUGGING WORD CHANGES, HERE AND THERE, LIKE. I'M USED TO THAT.

PANEL SIX

Ozzy turns to face Spottyman.

OZY:             BUT KRUSTOFSKI WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME. AND WHEN BROADWAY AGREED... WHAT COULD I DO?

SPOTTYMAN:           BROADWAY WAS INVOLVED?

OZY:             BROADWAY IS ALWAYS INVOLVED.

PANEL SEVEN

Ozzy has turned away. 

OZY:             WHAT IS YOUR FUGGING INTEREST HERE, SPOTTYMAN?

OZY:             WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?

PANEL EIGHT

Ozzyman looks round, Spottyman has gone.

OZY:             SPOTTYMAN? 

OZY:             SHARON?

OZY:		SOMEONE NEEDS TO TAKE BUBASTIS FOR WALKIES.
 
PAGE FIVE

PANEL ONE

A close up of a Watchmen movie poster.

CAPTION (From a manga comic):  YAAA!

COMIC BOOK GUY (OFF): WE OUGHT TO NUKE NORTHAMPTON AND LET GLYCON SORT IT OUT.

PANEL TWO

Pull back, we can see the hands of someone pasting it on the wall.

CAPTION:    YEEEEE!

COMIC BOOK GUY (OFF): I MEAN, FROM HELL? CONSTANTINE? LXG? V4V? WHERE'S THE COMMON FACTOR?

PANEL THREE

Pull back, the bill poster paster is finishing it off. We can see the side of the comic store next to him.

CAPTION: HUH?

COMIC BOOK GUY (OFF): I AM A COMIC BOOK GUY, GLYCONDAMMIT! I READ NEWSARAMA MESSAGE BOARDS! I'M INFORMED ON THE SITUATION! THAT ALAN MOORE HAS THE WORST. ATTITUDE. EVER.

PANEL FOUR

Big panel, comic book shop owner, outside his own shop, The Androids Dungeon. Next to him , on the pavement is a small black child with cosplay stylings sitting, reading a manga volume. The bill poster is getting on his motorbike with a bag full of Watchmen movie posters.

CAPTION:    OF COURSE, THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF MY ETERNAL WAR ON ENNUI. NOW, HAVE YOU SEEN MY LOBSTER CYBER-CLONE? I DO LOVE MY LOBSTER CYBER-CLONE SO!

COMIC BOOK GUY:    'COURSE, THAT'S JUST MY OPINION.

COMIC BOOK GUY:    I HATE MANGA YOU KNOW. WON'T STOCK IT. NO ONE WANTS IT. ESPECIALLY NOT ME.

PAGE SIX

PANEL ONE

Long panel, going down. Spottyman looking up at a tall naked bald man, wearing spectacles. We cannot see 'it' obviously.
 
SPOTTYMAN:           GOOD EVENING, MR BROADWAY.

BROADWAY:             SPOTTYMAN. IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME. BUT THEN IT ALSO SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY. OR POSSIBLY TOMORROW.

BROADWAY:             I AM ALWAYS 1700 BROADWAY MANHATTAN.

BROADWAY:		ALTHOUGH FOR A WHILE I WAS 666 FIFTH AVENUE. 909 THIRD AVENUE. I WAS ALL OVER LEXINGTON AVENUE, ON THIRD, FOURTH AND FIFTH. AND LET'S NOT MENTION ROCKEFELLER PLAZA OF AVENUE OF THE AMERICAS...

BROADWAY:            SORRY... WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS HERE?

PANEL TWO

Spottyman, coughing into his fist. Manhattan starts to shrink.

SPOTTYMAN:    HRM...I BELIEVE PEOPLE CONNECTED WITH THE BLACK DOSSIER ARE DYING.

MANHATTAN: MMM. I CAN'T SEE HOW THAT COULD HAPPEN.

PANEL THREE

They are equal in size, Manhattan turns to took at Silk Taker walking in. She is in full judge's get up.

SILK TAKER:    BROADWAY, WHO... OH. IT'S YOU.

SPOTTYMAN:    SILK TAKER.

PANEL FOUR

Spottyman faces up to Silk, who looks agitated.

SPOTTYMAN:    WAS INFORMING BROADWAY OF MY THEORY THAT LAWYERS INVOLVED WITH THE BLACK DOSSIER DEALINGS ARE BEING ASSASINATED.

SPOTTYMAN:    BUT NOW I THINK...

SPOTTYMAN:   WEREN'T YOU INVOLVED IN THE ABC FIREWALL AS WELL AS DAN?

PANEL FIVE
Spottyman turns to Manhattan, we look over Spottyman's shoulder. Manhattan raises a finger.

SPOTTYMAN:    AND BROADWAY... YOU WERE THERE FOR WATCHMEN DEAL? V FOR VENDETTA EVEN?

SPOTTYMAN, YOU ARE UPSETTING SILK. I WANT YOU TO LEAVE.

PANEL SIX

Reverse perspective, Broadway pointing at Spottyman.

SPOTTYMAN: LEAVE WHEN PIECE HAS BEEN SAID

BROADWAY: SECURITY.

PANEL SEVEN

Spottyman being thrown out of DC Comics by security guards.

SPOTTYMAN:    BLAST!

PANEL EIGHT

Spottyman picking himself up from the ground.

SPOTTYMAN:    THEN I HAVE ONE MORE PERSON TO SEE.

PAGE SEVEN

PANEL ONE

Don Murphy, pouring a coffee. He is in a nice apartment flat that geeked up. Transformers toys everywhere. Apt Pupil poster.

PANEL TWO

Don Murphy opening a fridge.
.
PANEL THREE

Don Murphy opening a carton of milk. On the side it has a LOST message with Alan Moore's face.

PANEL FOUR

Spottyman's arm and fist burst from the milk, hitting Don Murphy

DON:    AAAAAAAAA

PANEL FIVE

The milk drenched Spottyman kneeling over Don

DON:    DON'T... DON'T TOUCH ME. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN DO. DID YOU SEE TARANTINO'S FACE?

SPOTTYMAN:    MURPHOCH. PRODUCER ON FROM HELL. ON LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN.

DON:    OH GODS... NO...

PANEL SIX

Spottyman bending Murphy's arm behind his back. Murphy is in pain.

SPOTTYMAN:    WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BLACK DOSSIER?

DON:    I'M JUST A PRODUCER --

DON:    AAAA!

SPOTTYMAN:    HURM.

PANEL SEVEN

Spottyman turns away towards the Transformers toys. Don Murphy starts to get up, in pain, looking to Spottyman.

SPOTTYMAN:    YOU LEFT A BUSINESS CARD AT KRUSTY'S PLACE. DID YOU KILL HIM?

WHAT NO... NO...  WHAT?

PANEL EIGHT

Spottyman has turned. He holds an old Optimus Prime in his hands.

SPOTTYMAN:    TELL ME EVERYTHING OR OPTIMUS WILL NO LONGER BE... PRIME.

MURPHY (OFF):    NO NO! PLEASE...

PANEL NINE

Murphy's panic ridden face.

MURPHY:    HE VISITED ME.

SPOTTYMAN (OFF):    KRUSTOFSKI?

MURPHY:    I JUST WOKE UP ONE NIGHT AND THERE HE WAS...

PAGE EIGHT

PANEL ONE

Night, in Murphoch's apartment, from his POV in bed, Krusty sitting on his bed, head in hands. The room is lit  See #2, page 22.

KRUSTY:    IT'S A JOKE. S'ALL A JOKE.

PANEL TWO

Night, in Murphoch's apartment, from his POV in bed, Krusty sitting on his bed, turning to Murphoch. The room is dark.

KRUSTY:    I MEAN LEMME TELLYA, WHEN I STARTED OUT, WHEN I WAS A CLERK, CLEANIN' UP THE WATCHMEN, THE V FOR VENDETTA CONTRACTS. IT WAS, LIKE, REAL EASY.

KRUSTY:    THE SMALL PRINT WAS TOUGH, YOU JUST HAD TO BE TOUGHER, RIGHT?

KRUSY:	NOT ANYMORE.

PANEL THREE

Night, in Murphoch's apartment, from his POV in bed, Krusty stands looking to Murphoch. The room is lit.

KRUSTY: I MEAN I THOUGHT I KNEW HOW IT WAS, HOW THE WORLD WAS. BUT THEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS GAG ORDER, THIS JOKE...

KRUSTY: YOU'RE PART OF IT, MURPHOCH OLD PAL. Y'KNOW THAT?

PANEL FOUR

Night, in Murphoch's apartment, from his POV in bed, Krusty looks out of the window. The room is dark.

KRUSTY: I MEAN, I DONE SOME BAD THINGS. I DID BAD THINGS TO CREATORS

KRUSTY: I SIGNED DEALS IN SOUTH AMERICA...

KRUSTY: BUT I NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE, LIKE...

PANEL FIVE

Night, in Murphoch's apartment, from his POV in bed, Krusty has slumped, looking out of the window. The room is lit.

KRUSTY: THIS BLACK DOSSIER, I MEAN I THOUGHT I WAS THE CLOWN, Y'KNOW?

PANEL SIX

Close up of Krusty's screaming face. The room is dark.

KRUSTY: SOMEBODY EXPLAIN IT TO ME.

PANEL SEVEN

Spottyman holding Murphoch, Murphoch panicking.

SPOTTYMAN: HURM. SO.. DID YOU TALK TO BROADWAY?

MURPHOCH: I JUST TOLD HIM... THERE COULD BE PROBLEMS. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WOULD DO WITH THEM. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD LEAD TO THIS.

PANEL EIGHT

Spottyman has let Murphoch go, Murphoch is composing himself. Spottyman turns to the Transformers toys.

MURPHOCH:    PLEASE, I'M JUST A MOVIE PRODUCER. I'M MAKING... I'M MAKING TRANSFORMERS 2 AND...

SPOTTYMAN:    WAIT...  TRANSFORMERS?

MURPHOCH: YES, YES, WHY?

PANEL NINE

Spottyman leaving the apartment turns to Murphoch, holding a Megatron toy.

SPOTTYMAN: HURM... LIKED FIRST MOVIE. THOUGHT MEGATRON WAS...

SPOTTYMAN: ... FASCINATING.

PAGE NINE

PANEL ONE

Broadway in his office. There are memorabilia everywhere, comic artwork on the walls, DC statues, and two large balls made from elastic bands, there is a street window. He is looking at a photo of what we see in panel four. There is an office wastebin near him.

CAPTION:    THE VISIT FROM SPOTTYMAN DISTURBED ME. MADE ME THINK OF... PAST TIMES.

CAPTION:    THE PHOTOGRAPH IS IN MY HAND.

CAPTION:    IT IS THE PHOTOGRAPH OF TWO MEN IN AN OFFICE IN 1985.

PANEL TWO

The photo ripped up in the bin.

CAPTION:    IN TWELVE SECONDS TIME I HAVE RIPPED THE PHOTOGRAPH APART IN A FIT OF PIQUE.

CAPTION:    TEN SECONDS NOW.

PANEL THREE

Panel one from a different angle.

CAPTION:    THE PHOTOGRAPH IS IN MY HAND.

CAPTION:    THIS IS A GOOD TRICK. I SHOULD GO ON LETTERMAN. OR POSSIBLY JONATHAN ROSS.

PANEL FOUR

A very young Broadway, not bald, with hair, with pants, looking normal, and Max Gaines standing over Jerry Siegel and Joe Schutser, the latter two are signing a contract, in a 1930's office.

CAPTION: IT IS 1938, A HOT MANHATTAN AFTERNOON. I AM WEARING PANTS.

MAX:    So Jerry, Joe, you just need to both sign THERE... and THERE...

Broadway:    Well done. Both of you.

PANEL FIVE

Young Broadway hands over an early cheque for $130 to the pair, made payable by National Comics.

BROADWAY:    Here's your CHEQUE. One hundred and thirty dollars.

MAX:    Don't spend it all at once.

PANEL SIX

Joe and Jerry very happy looking at it, unbelieving. We see a very young Krusty behind them.

JOE:    We won't... we won't.
JERRY:    This is...

PANEL SEVEN

Jerry turns to Young Broadway. Max shouts to the very young Krustofski.

JERRY: ... this is SUPER.

BROADWAY:    Well, its better than nothing.

MAX:    KRUSTOFSKI, GET THE MEN A COFFEE, HEY?

PANEL EIGHT

Max turns to Young Broadway, as behind Jerry and Joe take coffee from Krusty.

MAX:    Hey Broadway. Don't worry. KANE may have eluded you. But you still got FINGER and ROBINSON. And now these two schmoes with their "Supe Man".

BROADWAY: "Superman".

MAX:    WHATEVER.

PANEL NINE

Young Broadway makes to leave.

BROADWAY:    We do what we have to do. Take care of yourself Max.

MAX:    Are you sure I'm the one who needs to be careful, Broadway?

CAPTION:    AND THE PAINT POT IS FALLING.

PAGE TEN

PANEL ONE

Back in the office with older Broadway, still looking at the photo.

CAPTION:    I AM LOOKING AT THE PHOTO. 1986. SIX SECONDS.

PANEL TWO

CAPTION:    AND I AM THERE.

Alan Moore signing contracts, just as with Joe and Jerry. There is a blue pantless Broadway, mid way between the two other Broadway's we've seen. With the forehead mark, and with some hair.

BROADWAY:    JUST SIGN HERE ALAN. AND THE MINUTE WATCHMEN IS OUT OF PRINT, YOU AND DAVE WILL GET ALL THE RIGHTS BACK.

ALAN:    HOW LONG WILL THAT BE?

PANEL THREE

Midway Broadway, rubbing his chin.

BROADWAY:    OOH... WHAT... A SIX MONTHS? A YEAR? NO COMIC HAS EVER STAYED IN PRINT THAT LONG. AND WE HAVE TO LOOK AFTER OUR CREATORS' RIGHTS!

PANEL FOUR

Broadway, smiling, pulls out another set of contracts, proferring them to Alan.

BROADWAY:    SAY, WHILE YOU'RE HERE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL SIGN THE V FOR VENDETTA CONTRACT TOO...

ALAN:    NO PROBLEM. SO...

ALAN:    ...WHY DO I HAVE TO USE BLOOD AGAIN?

PANEL FIVE

Mid-way Broadway, close up face, grinning.

BROADWAY: COMPANY POLICY. WE'RE STILL AT 666 FIFTH AVENUE AREN'T WE?

PANEL SIX

Moore signing contracts.

MOORE:    FAIR ENOUGH.

CAPTION:    1700 BROADWAY WOULD COME LATER. AND THE PAINTPOT IS FALLING

PANEL SEVEN

Young Broadway, waving goodbye, as he's walked out of the office. He is on a main Manhattan street. There a couple of paint spots ahead of him.

CAPTION:    1938. I AM WALKING DOWN THE STREET.

PANEL EIGHT

A painter working on a sign that reads NOSTALGIA COMICS above, his foot knocking over a paint pot labelled "BLUE".

CAPTION:    A SIGN PAINTER ABOVE ME TAKES A STEP

PANEL NINE

Young Broadway walking down the street. The paint pot is falling, the painter has noticed and as packicking. It is clearly about to hit Broadway. Some paint forms a trail to where the painter was.

CAPTION:    AND THE PAINTPOT IS FALLING

PAGE ELEVEN

PANEL ONE

BIG ONE

Broadway hit on the forehead by the paintpot. His head has been wrenched back a bit, and the paint sprays outwards behind him, in the same pattern as the atomic experiment that explodes Manhattan in Watchmen. Not very realistic, but it should look good.

PANEL TWO

Broadway ripping the photo.

CAPTION:    1988. ALAN MOORE IS SWEARING OFF DC COMICS FOREVER.

CAPTION:    1998. WE ARE BUYING A PUBLISHER

CAPTION:    2000. WE ARE PULPING A COMIC.

PANEL THREE

The photo pieces start to fall to the bin.

CAPTION:    2001. I AM REFUSING A STORY FOR SPURIOUS REASONS

CAPTION:    2006. MOORE IS PULLING THE LEAGUE.

CAPTION:    2007. I AM PULLING THE LEAGUE'S VINYL.

PANEL FOUR

Stet of panel with the pieces in the bin.

CAPTION:    2008. THE WATCHMEN TRAILER HITS. PEOPLE TAKE NOTICE.

CAPTION:    2009 AND THE WATCHMEN PREMIERE... FUNNY... IT IS UNCLEAR... SPOTTY...

CAPTION:    AND THE PAINT POT IS FALLING.

PAGE TWELVE

PANEL ONE

Silk Taker and Ozzy in OzyOsborne Towers, walking through the plaza. It looks very Hard Rock Cafe-ish, massive guitars, gold disc records making up the walls.. Lots of glass. Assorted people around. Ozy is walking a small dog on a leash,

SILK:	He visited me and Broadway too, you know.
OZY:	That man's got a LOT of fugging issues, Silk.

PANEL TWO

Young woman walks up to them both, holding out an old Ozzy Osbourne record sleeve.

SILK:	But what does he hope to achieve? I mean creators have OPTIONS now...
OZY:	But OPTIONS get exercised. But he was one of us. Or I thought so at the time.

WOMAN:	Excuse me... OzyOsborne... would you...

PANEL THREE

Ozzy has stopped to sign the record. Silk looks horrified...

OZZY:	Sure sweetheart...
SILK:	Oh gods...
SILK:	Oh GODS, she's got a pen...

PANEL FOUR

Shot from over Ozzy's shoulder. He isn't signing a record, but a sheet of paper placed over the record, that looks like a confession contract. The woman is happy.

OZZY:	What..?
WOMAN: A SIGNED confession to the murder of Krusty The Clown? Why Mr OzyOsborne...

PANEL FIVE

Big panel, two frames wide. Ozzy has swung the dog on the leash at the women. The dog's teeth have ripped out her throat. Silk is shocked

PANEL SIX

The dead body of the still smiling woman. The dog is sniffing the body. Silk looks closer.

SILK:	Self defence. You're in the clear.
SILK:	Just get RID of that contract before anyone else sees it.
SILK:	I know her,.

PANEL SEVEN

Ozzy crumpling the contract.

OZZY:	I will... I will.
SILK (OFF):	Wasn't she at that MEETING?

PANEL EIGHT

Ozzy tossing the crumpled contract into a wastebin in the plaza. Silk looks up from the body to him.

SILK:		About the ABC Firewall?
OZZY:		You know what my fugging memory is like... I don't... I don't know...

PAGE THIRTEEN

PANEL ONE

A group shot of Spottyman, Nite Nurse, Ozyosborne, Silk Taker, Krusty and Broadway. Ozy is reading The Comics Journal. Broadway stands in front of a whiteboard on which are the words Alan Moore - ABC and DC Comics. The others stand around. There are in an office meeting room. Taking notes is the woman we have just seen.

CAPTION:	"Not sure I was even THERE."

BROADWAY:	Ozyosborne, PLEASE pay attention.

PANEL TWO

Broadway puts a finger to the board, as if to draw a line between Alan Moore- ABC and DC Comics. 

BROADWAY:	I propose we create a FIREWALL. Between Alan Moore and DC Comics. He will receive no contact from DC.

PANEL THREE

Broadway draws the line, he is basically painting with his finger, leaving a dotty grey mark.

BROADWAY:	He can then CONTINUE to work on his ABC books, most of which DC owns by the way, with the illusion he is working for ANOTHER company.

PANEL FOUR

With his other finger, Broadway has wiped away parts of the line, creating half of a dotted line. 

BROADWAY:	However, I want you all to ensure that in the small print, there are... shall we say... LOOPHOLES.

BROADWAY:	Where we can at a moment's notice, take control BACK again.

PANEL FIVE

Broadway has finished the dotted line.

Broadway turns back to the crowd. He is adamant,

BROADWAY:	Even the League, a book which, because of Morphoch's doing, Alan owns OUTRIGHT.

BROADWAY:	I want to find a way to control THAT too.

BROADWAY:	And when you've finished, there's the Watchmen film rights to tie up and...

KRUSTY (OFF): Bollocks.

PANEL SIX

Broadway turns to Krusty, who's is reading the Comics Journal, taking no notice of him. Spottyman turns to the woman taking notes, stopping her.

BROADWAY:	Excuse me?

KRUSTY:	All this talk about creator's rights, it won't WASH.

KRUSTY:	Firewalls. Options. Media rights. Fake reversion clauses. It will ALL come back to bite you.

PANEL SEVEN

Nite Nurse appears to Krusty, Silk takes issue with him. Spottyman touches the woman's lips.

NITE:	Uh listen, me and SPOTTYMAN have made headway into the UNION problem by pooling our efforts...

KRUSTY:	And what happened? A bunch of creators set up on their own.

SILK:		Broadway's only doing what's best for EVERYONE.

PANEL EIGHT

Broadway in profile, with silk in the background, appealing to the others as the walk out Spottyman has his arms round the woman.

SILK:	SOMEBOY has to do it, don't you SEE?

SILK:	SOMEBODY has to save the INDUSTRY...

PANEL NINE

Same shot of Broadway, now in a LA office, a studio head talking to him.

STUDIO HEAD:	So BROADWAY. I'm the studio head. Do you agree we do the Watchmen film with Snyder or not?

BROADWAY: I did thirty-five minutes ago.

PAGE FOURTEEN

PANEL ONE

Broadway turns to the studio man, opening his briefcase. lots of papers inside. They are in some legal office.

STUDIO:	What about the Fox situation?

BROADWAY:	I foresee NO problem there.

BROADWAY:	What I'm interested in is MERCHANDISE.

PANEL TWO

Broadway hands over some sketches. It's the sketch of the squid from Watchmen.

BROADWAY:	Statues, toys, computer games... can we get a RORSHACH HAPPY MEAL while we're at it?

BROADWAY:	I had some SKETCHES drawn up.

PANEL THREE

Studio boss looking at pages, we can't see them. He looks shocked.

STUDIO:	You seem to have drawn a part of a LADY.

BROADWAY:	(OFF) What? No, no, the OTHER sketches.

PANEL FOUR

Broadway is crumpling up the initial page, the pages now showing a McDonalds Happy Meal Watchmen sketch. The M of the McDonalds is now a W. 

STUDIO:	Ah yes. Well. There are a FEW remaining worries...

BROADWAY:	About Alan? Don't WORRY about it. We gave him free run on V For Vendetta. He got it all out of his system on that Wachowski ABORTION.

PANEL FIVE

Broadway stands, clenched fists. Studio head still looking through sketches, laughing.

BROADWAY:	And now we've show him what we can do with his PRECIOUS Black Dossier...

BROADWAY:	He'll know to keep his big hairy magical mouth firmly SHUT.

PANEL SIX

Laughing the studio head looks up. Broadway's hand rests on his cheek.

STUDIO:	You kill me, Broadway, you really kill me.

BROADWAY:	EVENTUALLY.

PANEL SEVEN

CAPTION:	Was that only a YEAR ago?

CAPTION:	We've sold a MILLION more Watchmen copies since then.

CAPTION:	So why am I TROUBLED?

Broadway in his office, as before, sitting thinking. 

PANEL EIGHT

Pull back, Broadway in the same pose, we now see the bin we saw before, with the ripped up photo in,

CAPTION:	The premiere next week... New York... seems FUZZY... 

PANEL NINE

Pull back, now we can see a second bin, with the studio head's disembodied head sticking out of. Blood drips down the bin. There should be a splat of blood across his dead left eye.

CAPTION:	So strange. I'm normally so able to...

CAPTION:	...to plan A HEAD.

CAPTION:	What's that smell?

POLICE (OFF):	POLICE! OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!

PAGE FIFTEEN

A page from a book. An illustration shows the image we saw before, Alan Moore signing his Watchmen contracts, from a different angle maybe.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MAN OF TOMORROW STORIES?

By Rich Dreiburg, the original Nite Nurse.

The history between DC Comics and comics writer Alan Moore is a long and complex one. After making his name on a number of British comics, Alan Moore was hired by DC Comics editor Len Wein to write the about-to-be-cancelled “Swamp Thing” series, which he then wrote for four years, turning it into a successful horror comic for the company, bringing the artists Rick Veitch, Steve Bissette and John Totleben to greater public awareness, creating the supporting character John Constantine who would later spawn his own comic and Keanu Reeves-starring movie, and inspiring the creation of the DC mature readers line Vertigo.

Moore’s success saw DC look further to the British pool of writing talent, with Grant Morrison, Jamie Delano, Neil Gaiman and Peter Milligan benefiting from the attention.

Moore continued to work on DC Comics titles such as the Dark Knight movie-inspiring “The Killing Joke”, the Superman-saga ending “Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow”, the completion of “V For Vendetta” and of course “Watchmen”.

The contract for the last two, uniquely for the time for DC Comics, promised that the rights to the books would revert to the creators once the books were out of print. At that time, no comic book had stayed in print for more than a year or so, and Moore and his co-collaborators were happy to sign.

As the years past and Moore became more concerned about creators rights, it seemed clear that the reversion wasn’t going to happen. When DC sold a series of Watchmen badges or buttons that required no royalty payment because DC labelled them as “promotional items”, this seemed to be the last straw for Moore.

With a number of other creators such as Frank Miller, Howard Chaykin and Marv Wolfman, Alan Moore chose to quit DC Comics over the decision to label certain comics “Recommended For Mature Readers”. After concluding the “V For Vendetta” series, he would never work for DC Comics directly again.

DC Comics seemed to have learnt from this experience and when Neil Gaiman found success with the DC-owned mature readers title “Sandman”, they chose to renegotiate his contract over the property, giving Gaiman a creator-participatory clause, rights of approval and respected Gaiman’s decision to conclude the series when he left.

However, DC Comics were not inclined to revisit past events with Moore. Instead, as Moore found success with other companies, they chose to purchase one of his publishers, Wildstorm Comics just as they were about to publish Moore’s extensive America’s Best Comics line. Moore had chosen a participatory contract for himself and his artists in exchange for a higher page rate, rather than a purely creator owned deal, and suddenly he found that DC Comics owned the entire line, save for “The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen”. By luck, that property had already been sold as a film by Don Murphy before publication, and so the full rights to the property remained with Alan Moore and artist Kevin O’Neill.

While DC Comics stated the purchase was for the Jim Lee body of ideas, West Coast offices and the colouring and production skills of the company, Moore felt like DC were stalking him. He agreed to continue writing the line in exchange for a firewall system, where he would not have to deal with anyone at DC Comics. Even his cheques came from a third party source set up especially for the purpose. 

However not long into the run, he found he had to deal with DC. Initially over the pulping of “League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen” issue 5 which featured, jokingly, a reproduction of a genuine Victorian advert for a “Marvel Douche”, a reference to rival publisher Marvel Comics, and then the refusal of a “Cobweb” episode in the series “Tomorrow Stories”  featuring a story about L Ron Hubbard. Ironically a version of that same story had already appeared in another DC book “The Big Book Of Conspiracies” without fuss.

It is clear that Paul Levitz has different criteria for content depending on whether of not the title is classed a super hero book. Levitz was happy for Preacher to be published from DC, but not The Boys - and had many problems with "The Authority" too. However this does give the impression of having double standards and treating Alan Moore in a different fashion to other creators.

But it would be the “V For Vendetta” movie that would cause most ructions. Moore was less than happy with movies that had been based on his creator owned work and after he was placed in the dock over allegations of corporate plagiarism of the "Cast Of Characters" movie script, only for Fox's lawyers to settle, decided to change his position on the matter. From then on he decided that any movie based on work he didn't own, he would ask for his name to be taken off the movie and any monies paid to collaborators on the project instead. Almost immediately he was informed of the movie Constantine in preperation, V For Vendetta and Watchmen. However, he kept to his new decision and the movies were released and promoted (mostly) without his name officially attached.

But as "V For Vendetta" was being promoted, producer Joel Silver stated that Alan Moore was very excited about the Larry Wachowski's handling of the property. Moore went ballistic. First he demanded DC extract an apology from Silver, which they did not do, though they did withdraw Silver's comments from the original PR website that reported them.

Moore announced he was to conclude writing any ABC books, withdraw League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen from Wildstorm/DC after the Black Dossier volume was concluded, and cut any and all ties with the company. He told one reporter "If you're going to react, you might as well overreact."

DC then announced that due to "copyright and related issues" The Black Dossier would not be distributed outside of the USAm though many suspect this was a personal decision.. The vinyl record was withdrawn, promised for the Absolute version of the comic. The record was later cancelled, and Absolute Black Dossier made returnable. That volume was heavily overpriced and did not come with the expected script book or notations.

One Wildstorm editor caught in the cross fire, Scott Dunbier, was fired from DC and banished by Moore. Dave Gibbons has told people that Alan Moore has told him nor to mention the Watchmen film. Moore appeared in The Simpsons as himself, being asked to sign a copy of "Watchmen Babies: V For Vacation". 

He has also of late appeared at a number of high profile signings, and has reversed his earlier stance of not signing copies of Watchmen. However, the Alan Moore curse has been blamed for Fox's decision to sue Warner over what they see as their previously signed rights to make the movie. 

And this year, a million copies of the Watchmen trade paperback were printed. Double that for next year...

PAGE SIXTEEN

PANEL ONE

Nite Nurse and Silk Taker in full costume bursting through a cell door. Spottyman is in the cell, interviewing an inmate, though we don't realise this yet. The cell is full of News International media, The Sun, The Times, Wall St Journal, Sky TV posters, Fox News.

NITE NURSE:	SPOTTYMAN!

SPOTTYMAN:	Nite Nurse? Silk... Taker?

SILK TAKER:	We're breaking you out of JAIL!

PANEL TWO

Spottyman is sitting down, talking to Rupert Murdoch, in his cell. They are dejected.

SPOTTYMAN:	Hurm. Am visiting a CLIENT. MOST inconvenient.

SILK:	Oh. Sorry,

NITE:	But we've worked it all out.

SPOTTYMAN:	Have you been having intercourse?

PANEL THREE

Silk is outraged. Nite presses his point,

SILK:	WHAT?

NITE:	Yes. But that's not important right now. You were right. It's OzyOsborne. He's been behind EVERYTHING.

NITE:	He killed Krusty. He framed Broadway for murder.  His incompetence must have been all... an act!

PANEL FOUR

Out of the cell, Spottyman the last to leave, the prison they are in has been ransacked. Prisoners are unconscious, there are blood marks, there is a fire blazing, it's a mess. In the extreme foreground we see Broadway's hand.

NITE:	Tell your client you'll get back to him. We're all off to Antarctica.

SPOTTYMAN:	And why is that?

SILK:	They're filming his new REALITY SHOW there.

PANEL FIVE

Broadway standing by an open door in the cell corridor, that leads to jet black darkness. They walk up to him throug the chaos.

SPOTTYMAN:	How do we get there?

BROADWAY:	There are tunnels from DC Comics that lead EVERYWHERE. Follow me.

PANEL SIX

They are walking in darkness, the only light source is the prison behind them, on fire.

SPOTTYMAN:	Even prisons?

BROADWAY:	With our corporate record? OH YES.

BROADWAY:	We can go anywhee, through the very gutters of the world.

SPOTTYMAN:	How very... deconstructive.

PANEL SEVEN

A door has opened in the Antarctic. White. Snow. Broadway stands opening the door to blackness as Spottyman steps through.

BROADWAY:	Welcome to the Antarctic. I hope you brought THERMALS.

PANEL EIGHT

Broadway walks off, towards a TV studio in the middle of the Antarctica. Nite and Silk's close up faces in the foreground, talking, Broadway walking off in the background, naked bottom on display. Footprints in the snow.

BROADWAY:	Follow me, all of you.

NITE:	Silk, I have to ask... how come Broadway isn't... you know... SHRINKING?

SILK:	It's the paint. It set in place years ago.

NITE:	Wow.

SILK:	I know.

PANEL NINE

Spottyman walking after Broadway, Nite Nurse and Silk Taker huddled together behind him. The door is still open.

SPOTTYMAN:	Come on, rutting dogs. 

SPOTTYMAN:	Let's follow the half naked old man covered in blue paint.

PAGE SEVENTEEN

PANEL ONE

Wide panel, taking up three normal panels. A TV studio. Cameras, wires across the floor, bank of TV screens in the corner. Ozyosborne being made up by a make up girl. Broadway, Spottyman, Nite Nurse and Silk Taker have walked in at the other side of the studio. Ozy On Ice logo on the wall, big ice rink.

OZY:	You're here. I didn't expect you would be.

BROADWAY:	And why not?

OZY:	It's the Watchmen premiere tonight. EVERYONE will be there.

PANEL TWO

The red carpet in New York for the Watchmen Premiere. Stars of stage and screen walking down, in from on paparazzi. Crowd behind barriers.

CAPTION:	"Doctors, dentists, architects..."

CAPTION:	"...lawyers..."

PANEL THREE

Nite Nurse grabs Ozy in anger. The make up girl is shocked. Ozy is bemused.

NURSE:	But not you! You KILLED Krusty!

NURSE:	And painted Broadway as some kind of anti-creator-fuelled murderer.

OZY:	Did I?

PANEL FOUR

Another shot of the premiere.

CAPTION:	"It's all OVER Fox News, Ozy."

CAPTION:	"You'd have thought I'd have remembered."

CAPTION:	"Hang on... what about the woman who tried to frame me?"

PANEL FIVE

Silk looking at Ozy in flailing anger. We can see the screens behind her.

SILK:	You just FAKED it. And conveniently killed the woman... with a dog...

SILK:	Okay, l just realised how ridiculous that sounded.

SILK:	Say, what are those screens?

PANEL SIX:

Another shot of the premiere. 

CAPTION:	"I'm not so hot on the internet. I got someone to put up a different screen for EVERY website I want to read. Perez, Popbitch, Red Tube..."

CAPTION:	"Hey, is that the Watchmen premiere?"

PANEL SEVEN

They are all looking at the screens, their faces lit up.

OZY:	Red carpet webcam. SHARON'S idea.

BROADWAY:	What's that bright light?

NITE NURSE:	Why is EVERYONE screaming in agony?

SILK TAKER:	Is Tom Cruise SMILING to camera?

PAGE EIGHTEEN

Splash page.

The premiere red carpet has been destroyed. We see the 200 foot Alan Moore's foot and lower leg has crushed the crowd. We can also see the end of his staff. Bodies, blood, death.

PAGE NINETEEN

His hand with rings has crushed the comic book store, and traffic. The owner and reader are both dead. Dead bodies, crashed cars, chaos.

PAGE TWENTY

We see the face of Alan Moore, dead, His beard spread out across Central Park. Massive destruction of Manhattan.

PAGE TWENTY ONE

PANEL ONE

The group looking at the screens.

NITE NURSE:	What... what am I LOOKING at?

SILK TAKER:	A two hundred foot... dead Alan Moore clone... 

BROADWAY:	...dropped on the premiere of Watchmen, crushing it.

OZY:	What does the internet say?

PANEL TWO

Silk Taker, tears down her cheek, face lit.

SILK:	Thousands dead. Manhattan devasted. Whole world is reacting with HORROR.

SILK:	Someone says its all DC's fault...

BROADWAY (OFF):	That's the internet for you...

SILK:	That... that if they'd treated Alan Moore better...

PANEL THREE

All looking at different screens.

NITE NURSE: Warner have just shelved ANY plans for a Wonder Woman movie, for fear of a similar attack from the William Marston estate.

BROADWAY:	Platinum GIVEN Hero By Night back to DJ Coffman.

SILK	Marvel are paying Jack Kirby's estate back royalties on Hulk, X-Men, Avengers, Thor and Iron Man. Enough to buy OKLAHAMA..

OZ:	Pat Lee selling his PORSCHES...

PANEL FOUR

They all look at different screen.

SPOTTYMAN:	Len Wein compensated for WOLVERINE...

NITE NURSE:	Steve Ditko to be made a SAINT by the Vatican...

SILK TAKER:	Marvelman/Miracleman GIVEN to Neil Gaiman to sort out...

BROADWAY:	Ozy... is this what you wanted? Is this worth the lives of so many?

PANEL FIVE

Ozymandias looking nonplussed as Silk, Broadway and Nite Nurse turn on him.

OZY:	I can't tie my own shoe laces, love. Do you REALLY believe I could clone a giant sized man thing? 

PANEL SIX

Spottyman, to the side is jubilant. Broadway turns away from Ozy, taken aback.

SPOTTYMAN:	I did it.

SPOTTYMAN:	I DID IT!

BROADWAY:	What?

PANEL SEVEN

They turn on Spottyman.

NITE NURSE:	Spottyman? This was YOU?

SPOTTYMAN:	Realised what I was doing. What all of us doing. 

SPOTTYMAN:	Tying up lives in legal papers, taking away just deserves... we were vultures.

SILK TAKER:	We're LAWYERS!

PANEL EIGHT

Broadway makes to punch Spottyman but misses. They are on the ice.

SPOTTYMAN:	Thought Krusty would help me..

SPOTTYMAN:	But his bluster all a bluff.

SPOTTYMAN:	...working on Black Dossier all along.

PANEL NINE

Spottyman knees Broadway in the balls as he slides past, Silk Taker goes for Spottyman.

SPOTTYMAN:	When he found I was freelancing for Fox... got nasty.

PAGE TWENTY-TWO

PANEL ONE

Spottyman has grabbed Silk in mid thrust, as if to swing her.

SILK:	What? 

SPOTTYMAN:	Fox appreciated my... peculiar outlook in life. Was happy to use them too.

PANEL TWO

Spottyman swings Silk across the ice to take out Nite Nurse.

SPOTTYMAN:	I settled Fox case against Moore. Forged papers to sue Warners over Watchmen movie rights. Even put Moore in The Simpsons. All to get closer.

PANEL THREE

Spottyman headbutts Ozy. 

SPOTTYMAN	And extract Alan Moore DNA. Saw results tonight. Everyone will know price of screweing crators over.

OZY:	But... a hundred foot Alan Moore clone? HOW?

PANEL FOUR

Spottyman has thrown Ozy onto the pile with Nite Nurse, Silk Taker and Broadway, who looks up.

SPOTTYMAN:	Was that or series of Broadway-engineered nuclear explosions all over the world. 

SPOTTYMAN:	Who believe that?

BROADWAY:	You won't get away with this.

PANEL FIVE

Spottyman has thrown Nite Nurse onto the pile of Silk Taker and Broadway (whose glasses are broken), who looks up.

SPOTTYMAN:	Hurm. Such cliche. But I covered tracks.

SPOTTYMAN:	The world has changed Broadway. Our time is over. No creator ever sign your contracts ever again. No lawyer uphold them. 

SPOTTYMAN:	Everything suddenly creator-owned. As it always should have been.

PANEL SIX

Spottyman facing Broadway, from above, diagonally across the panel.

SPOTTYMAN:	And if you tell anyone... who will BELIEVE you now?

SPOTTYMAN:	Go, put some pants on. Have a SHOWER while you're at it.

PAGE TWENTY THREE

PANEL ONE

They start to get up. Spottyman has gone. Broadway looks to the cameras around the ice rink.

BROADWAY:	The cameras are ROLLING, we MUST have recorded it... SHOW that it wasn't some karmic revenge...

OZY:	Oh sorry, no one said ACTION. You know, these shows are a LOT more planned than they look.

PANEL TWO

Nite and Silk, standing together. Broadway is outraged.

SILK	So what do we DO?

NITE:	 We say nothing.

BROADWAY:	What? You can't...gak...

PANEL THREE

Broadway has a choking fit.

BROADWAY:	COUGHkaffKkkGAKCoughHACKoffKoff...

PANEL FOUR

Broadway wiping mouth, looking up.

BROADWAY:	Choking, of course.

PANEL FIVE

Broadway being turned upon by the others.

NITE:	Broadway, your offices are DESTROYED. Your reputation is in TATTERS. If you try to explain what happened, the internet will tear you in half. 

SILK:	Nite is right, We need to find another life.

OZY:	Have you considered MUSIC?

PANEL SIX

Ozy excited.

OZY:	Seriously, being a music lawyer is really REALLY easy. Contracts are solid. We own everything. And every now and then we scare some PIRATES!

PANEL SEVEN

Parody of a panel of Black Freighter.

Ozy tying together the dead bodies of a boy band, seagulls behind him.

SCROLL CAPTION:	Removing their spines, I tore them to ribbons, binding them together.

SCROLL CAPTION:	Occasionally, I would pause in my work, entranced by the startling banality of a tattoo or the enigma of boy band lyrics.

PANEL EIGHT

NITE:	I'm in.

SILK:	Me too.

OZY:	I'll get the paperwork.

BROADWAY:	Not me. After all this, I've REGAINED an interest in comic books.

PANEL NINE

Broadway walks off.

BROADWAY:	I think perhaps I'll CREATE some.

PAGE TWENTY FOUR

PANEL ONE

Seymour walking through Manhattan. People are cleaning up the city. He walks past an advert for OzyOsborne's new album "MAN ON MANHATTAN"

PANEL TWO

Seymour walks past the Golf Sale man from page one. He's Spottyman.

SPOTTYMAN:	Lovely day sir!

SEYMOUR	Mmm.

PANEL THREE

Seymour walks past a bar called BAR THE SHOUTING. The detectives from before are outside, drinking.

DETECTIVE 1:	Hey! Hey, look we're on again!
DETECTIVE 2:	Leave it, lets go hang out by some train tracks.

PANEL FOUR

 He passes a street seller selling chopped up pieces of Alan Moore. He has a hand made sign on the top that reads PLEASE SIR CAN I HAVE SOME MOORE.

PANEL FIVE

He passes a pasted up sign for FRANK MILLER'S FRANK MILLER and we can see a new comic shop, THE ALL NEW ANDROID DUNGEON, with manga posters on the window.

PANEL SIX

He walks into THE ALL NEW ANDROID DUNGEON. Comic Book Guy all spruced up. We see on the walls Jack And Stan's X-Men, Jack And Stan's Hulk, Joe And Jack's Captain America, Joe And Jerry's Superman. There's also loads of manga. The boy from before is buying a stack of it.

Seymour:	New comics in?
Comic Book Guy:	Indupitably! MANY new titles!
Seymour:	Batman?
Comic Book Guy:	Sorry... not yet...  the lawyers are still ironing out the FINAL CREASES on that one. 

PANEL SEVEN

Wide panel. The comic book, 1700 BROADWAY MANHATTAN'S WATCHMENSCH on a shelf. Seymour's hand reaching for it. Other comics, include Andy Diggle's Men At War, Alan Davis' Family, Peter David's Media Girl, Flying Friar II: Back In The Habit, Brain Bendis' Ultimate Speech Balloons,,, anything else you fancy adding. Watchmensch as the focus.

Comic Book Guy (OFF): We have acquired a LARGE contingency black and white indie filth. PERUSE the rack for anything there that takes your FANCY...

PANEL EIGHT

Black short thin panel. White text quote: I despise the comic industry, but I will always love the comic medium.

- Alan Moore

Image of a Watchmen clock with TIMES UP written across it.